Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Understanding "Understanding" (2002-12-13)

Is it really true that the best relation shared is ven both parties understand each other completely?... Not that I argue its authenticity, but I sumtimes feel that not understanding mite just be that missing element which many people crave for... Lemme Xplain..

Assume the ideal scenario... Both ppl understanding each other completely... And lets just say that in this fictitous couple, the guy is a chain smoker... Now, the girl "Hates" ppl who smoke (I dont wanna go into the details of y then in D first place she landed up vit him..... so lets just play along for now). He understands her completely... So he knows very well that she hates smoking... So the obvious Mode of Action (MOA) wud b for him to quit.... But wait a minute... She understands him tooo... So the other obvious MOA wud b for her to compromise n allow him to smoke coz she kno's that it is a temptation he cannot resist!! So who is then to make the compromise here??

I guess the example taken wud obviously evoke a response saying.... Hey the guy is the 1 who shud quit smoking... firstly coz tis bad... and secondly coz he kno's his partner does not like it!!

OK... I agree vit u all coz in this case the right n D wrong is quite clearly defined.... But now take another example.. Lets just say dat D girl is a very independant type n even the guy is very independant... (U think they'll get along very well huh??).. Well, now the girl has her own set of friends she spends time with n the guy has his own set of friends he spends time with... D girl wud luv to spend her weekends at home with him (n D children if tey exist)... But since tis D only day he get gets off work, he'd like to hang out in sum pub vit his buddies... On the other hand, the guy wud like 2 spend his evenings after a hard days work at home with her, but since that is the only time she can make to meet up her friends, she is out visiting the latest dress outlet vit tem!!

Now... Who shud make the compromise??? If both understand each other well then they vil end up understanding each other all their life n all I can say is "God Save their Relation".

U c, the point here is that sumver, implicitly, ppl start believing that "Understanding" is "Compromising". U wud rather that at some point in time they sit down n chalk out a plan as to how tey r gonna make things wrk!! But frankly, tey wud then be saying "I understand that this is wot u want but... Im sorry, its too much to ask for". That actually defies the whole principle of understanding coz if u DO Understand, there is nothing like "too much" or "too less".

Then in conclusion, every 1ce in a while, ppl wud hav 2 say "I refuse to Understand y u r doing this!". And that is wot brings me to think.... Is it "understanding" that makes a relation last... Or is it "Compromise"??

I personally belive it is compromise. Take any of our old Indian marriages - the oppressed woman scenario. The marriage lasted just as long as the woman was ready 2 giv up to the mans tantrums. U really dont need 2 understand a person 2 have a relation last vit him (if u r ready 2 make all the compromises ie)... Then y is it important to understand??? The answer is quite simple n yet ppl dont get it... The only way u might even start respecting the other person is ven u try 2 start understanding the person!!


So do u need to understand a person to be able 2 have a relation with him??? NO...
But is it necessary to understand a person 2 have a relation with him?? If u wish to have a healthy, symbiotic relation... Yes... Otherwise.... who cares??
:: posted by RagsInRags, 3:49 PM

2 Comments:

I completely understand your understanding of understanding
Anonymous Anonymous, at 22 February, 2006 23:28  
Hmm.. worth thinking about
Anonymous Anonymous, at 24 February, 2006 18:09  

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