Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Soulmates Or Work-It-Outs?
An interesting comment I got off "Branding Relations" blog forces me to rite tis 2day. The question is... What if the couple in yesterdays blog ver indeed happy and loved each other?
Well for 1... Congratulations to having found the love of your life! But what we are talking about then is a matter of learning to love over time spent together rather than loving and then spending time together.
To make it more obvious (am not sure if u ppl r aware of this theory)... There are 2 sets of people in this world.
Ones that believe in Soulmates
These people tend to believe that there is that "One" (or very few) person (or people) out there specifically for them. They believe that this person is the ideal or as close to ideal match that they can get in this real world. The thing that is most important to them is the ability to recognize this other person when he/she crosses their paths.
Ones that dont believe in Soulmates
These people are more of the Work-It-Out kinds. They believe that no one is perfect and that Love can be built over time. For them, it is a matter of compromise, change and adjustment before they learn to love their partners for what they are.
People who believe in Soulmates are generally very passionate. They require the tickling butterflies, the cold sweats, the "sweep u off ur feet" kind of feeling before proclaiming that they are indeed in love. While the other faction of people generally tend to court, socialize, spend time, understand and logically deduce that they will be able to work things out with their better halfs and finally make an informed choice to fall in love (well awrite... maybe not that informed in many cases).
The point being, yesterdays couple surely belonged to the second clan of people. And if Love IS really "Illogical, spontaeneous overflow of feelings" for someone, then learning to love is kinda impossible dont u think?
Well for 1... Congratulations to having found the love of your life! But what we are talking about then is a matter of learning to love over time spent together rather than loving and then spending time together.
To make it more obvious (am not sure if u ppl r aware of this theory)... There are 2 sets of people in this world.
Ones that believe in Soulmates
These people tend to believe that there is that "One" (or very few) person (or people) out there specifically for them. They believe that this person is the ideal or as close to ideal match that they can get in this real world. The thing that is most important to them is the ability to recognize this other person when he/she crosses their paths.
Ones that dont believe in Soulmates
These people are more of the Work-It-Out kinds. They believe that no one is perfect and that Love can be built over time. For them, it is a matter of compromise, change and adjustment before they learn to love their partners for what they are.
People who believe in Soulmates are generally very passionate. They require the tickling butterflies, the cold sweats, the "sweep u off ur feet" kind of feeling before proclaiming that they are indeed in love. While the other faction of people generally tend to court, socialize, spend time, understand and logically deduce that they will be able to work things out with their better halfs and finally make an informed choice to fall in love (well awrite... maybe not that informed in many cases).
The point being, yesterdays couple surely belonged to the second clan of people. And if Love IS really "Illogical, spontaeneous overflow of feelings" for someone, then learning to love is kinda impossible dont u think?
:: posted by RagsInRags, 3:20 PM
10 Comments:
I am surely the "Sweep you off your feet" kind of person. Interesting thought and would really like to know the response to this topic.
I too agree with mandy.
just wanted to know.. which group do you belong to?
just wanted to know.. which group do you belong to?
Well I would say that you have thought of the 2 extremes cases.. There is another set of people who dont exactly believe in "Love at First Sight" and neither in " Love can be built over time" ...
MOst of the times it so happens that you start as friends with someone and you fall in love unknowingly. You dont have to plan for it and nobody compels you to do so but it just happens. And then one day you have these tickling butterflies, the cold sweat and "sweep you off your feet" kinda feeling. I would say that is love too.
The spontaneous love that you have described is very much misunderstood these days. Most people are infatuated at the first sight and think its love.
The point being, its not easy to categorise people based on their perception of Love..
Love is somthing that happens spontaneously but in different ways.. to some it happens knowingly and some unknowingly.....for some it is at first sight, for some it is after ages and for some after years of marriage. But the day you realise you are in love you will have those butterflies and cold sweats. It doesnt have to be at first sight alone ...
MOst of the times it so happens that you start as friends with someone and you fall in love unknowingly. You dont have to plan for it and nobody compels you to do so but it just happens. And then one day you have these tickling butterflies, the cold sweat and "sweep you off your feet" kinda feeling. I would say that is love too.
The spontaneous love that you have described is very much misunderstood these days. Most people are infatuated at the first sight and think its love.
The point being, its not easy to categorise people based on their perception of Love..
Love is somthing that happens spontaneously but in different ways.. to some it happens knowingly and some unknowingly.....for some it is at first sight, for some it is after ages and for some after years of marriage. But the day you realise you are in love you will have those butterflies and cold sweats. It doesnt have to be at first sight alone ...
BTW .. I didnt like your new blog template.. strains the eyes a lot ... and somehow doesnt go with your personality....
Liked the look. Dark and neat. Whats the background? A bird in the solar system?
Looks like im one of those few who believes in the work-it-out kinds. Why wait for things to happen when you can make them happen?
Looks like im one of those few who believes in the work-it-out kinds. Why wait for things to happen when you can make them happen?
I too didnt like your new blog template..
mandy,anara,shil,
Not debating the possibility of falling in love eventually. The "Work-it-Out" by definition incorporates this case. There is a famous love quote "Dont marry a person coz u can liv with him, marry a person coz u cannot live without him" - I guess he was a believer in soulmates too :)
Santy,
Though u hav a point, things might be a lil more deeper than just that. Very few ppl really believe in "soulmates" and as shil said.. often things are in that wicked "Gray" zone ver ppl are neither this side or that.
To answer anara's question,
I believe in soulmates but am sure that my soulmate believes in work-it-outs!! So ven v DO meet (if v hav not already), I hope she believes she can work-it-out coz I for hell will feel the butterflies :)
Not debating the possibility of falling in love eventually. The "Work-it-Out" by definition incorporates this case. There is a famous love quote "Dont marry a person coz u can liv with him, marry a person coz u cannot live without him" - I guess he was a believer in soulmates too :)
Santy,
Though u hav a point, things might be a lil more deeper than just that. Very few ppl really believe in "soulmates" and as shil said.. often things are in that wicked "Gray" zone ver ppl are neither this side or that.
To answer anara's question,
I believe in soulmates but am sure that my soulmate believes in work-it-outs!! So ven v DO meet (if v hav not already), I hope she believes she can work-it-out coz I for hell will feel the butterflies :)
jackal,
thnx for the comment on the look. The background image can be found at "http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2150/1175/1600/CelestialGull1.JPG". It is currently my desktop wall paper.
Shil,P
The template is a stop-gap to something better (when I can think of it). For now I certainly know that this look is not good for hosting my pictures :)
thnx for the comment on the look. The background image can be found at "http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2150/1175/1600/CelestialGull1.JPG". It is currently my desktop wall paper.
Shil,P
The template is a stop-gap to something better (when I can think of it). For now I certainly know that this look is not good for hosting my pictures :)
I think santydayme is being too negative about arranged marriages. If there are few arranged marriages that go bad then there are an equal few love marriages that go bad too. But the topic has nothing to do with arranged marriages. It is about falling in love with someone instantenously or spending time with a person and learning to love that person for what he/she is.
LittleBigGirl,
I believe that I understood wot you believe you are trying to say [believe's intended ;)]
Pardon me for my beliefs, but to answer ur question, yes that MAY be one of the reasons why work-it-outs dont believe in soulmates. But generally if a person behaves like a hard-core work-it-out and he does happen to meet his soulmate, he wud rather reject his spontaneous feelings as being illogical. Thus the common statement that I have heard "U hardly know me... Then how can u fall in love vit me?"
I believe that I understood wot you believe you are trying to say [believe's intended ;)]
Pardon me for my beliefs, but to answer ur question, yes that MAY be one of the reasons why work-it-outs dont believe in soulmates. But generally if a person behaves like a hard-core work-it-out and he does happen to meet his soulmate, he wud rather reject his spontaneous feelings as being illogical. Thus the common statement that I have heard "U hardly know me... Then how can u fall in love vit me?"
